Completed: Get a Tattoo and/or piercing

My mantra

Task number: 75.

Get a Tattoo &/or piercing.

Date: 30th June 2012.

Location: Amsterdam, Netherlands.

Attendees: Yvonne Weatherlake.

This task is in the reckless section of the book, but I have to admit this for me was something that had been given a lot of thought.

I had wanted a tattoo for a while, but I wanted One that really meant something. For me, too many people get artwork placed on their bodies without thinking about how this will be with them for the rest of their lives.

If I was to get One it had to be something that really explained me as a person. Something that I would look at & know that this symbolised me, my roots & my values as much as being a piece of art. There was no way I wanted to look back in a few years & think I shouldn't have done that.

The last few years have pretty difficult from a personal point of view, but One mantra, as simple as it is has always stuck with me.

"My Tattoo artist, Simeon" & myself during the big day

"Never ever give up" is a phrase I have always lived by.

We all face adversity at some point in our lives, but in my opinion it's how you deal with it that counts. I won't get too deep, but no matter what, we have to carry on.

I can't claim to have had a rough childhood or even a particularly difficult life. In fact, I appreciate the terrific lengths my parents have gone to make sure I had the best they could offer, but I think a lot of people would agree when I say that everything we have & achieve in life we have to fight for.

I am no exception. I am very proud of what I have achieved so far, but I have had to fight for every inch of it. I have never given up & when faced with difficult times, I always recall this phrase & I'm sure I will need it at some point in the future. It felt like there were more reasons for me to get this done than not to. So, after a friend recommended a place in Amsterdam, I got on the phone & made my booking. I had plenty of time to change my mind as there was a Four month waiting list.

Again though, this had to be more than getting the phrase "Never ever give up" written all the way up my arm. I needed something that reminded me of my roots. What I represented as a person. & then I got to thinking about my own core values & where I'm from.

Those who know me will know I'm a very proud "Sussexonion". I have the counties flag draped over my desk at work & celebrate Sussex day every year. Sussex, to be more specific, East Sussex is where I was brought up & is still where I call home. I wanted the tattoo to represent something else that was truly close to my heart.

After a little research, I found out that amongst many other counties in the South East of England, Old English, spoken by the Saxons was main language throughout Sussex in years gone by. In fact, the name Sussex means "South Saxons".

It took a while to get the phrase translated & then validated, but in the end we got there. I didn't want to find out years later that I actually got "I'm a big Penis" or something written in permanent ink on my body. After all, you do hear some horror stories! I consulted a number of universities & Old English experts. The inscription literally translated reads "Never stop", but this, I'm told is the closest to the phrase I wanted.

Me & my proud bandage

Most have asked, "Did it hurt?". The honest answer is yes, of course it did a little, but not as much as I thought. I've often wondered myself how much pain people have to ensure when getting this done & granted mine is only a small inscription. A giant Eagle across your back or some of the other insane things people get inked into their bodies would probably require a slightly higher pain threshold, but it really is as they describe. like a needle being scratched across the top of your skin. 

I'm told that people get addicted to these kind of things & the tattoo artist himself said that he gets customers coming back asking for more artwork when, short of colouring them in, there is nothing else he can do. My sister, who already has a few herself said that it does become a bit of an obsession.

For me, I wouldn't rule anything out in the future, but I'm more than happy with what I have for the time being.

My artist Simeon was super nice & accomplished with something like 20 years experience. You can see for yourself, he did an amazing job with mine, ensuring that even the fine lines & close attention to detail were perfectly finished.

If you're ever in Amsterdam & feel the need like I did, I would highly recommend Simeon & his partner Imke.

Check out their website. Some amazing pieces:

www.eternaltattoosbysimeon.nl

Completed: Shout "Drinks are on me!" in a pub or bar

Me & a few of the "Punters"!

Task number: 65.

Shout "Drinks are on me!" in a pub or bar.

Date: 19th May 2012.

Location: Hilversum, Netherlands.

Attendees: Stuart Wilson & the entire contents of the Felix II pub in Hilversum!

In my opinion this has to be an adhoc thing. Something you do on the spare of the moment. A sporadic moment of madness that you can only do when you truly have something to celebrate - Well, that's what I'll say now anyway!

The original plan was to draw it. Me & a few friends would get together, throw a load of pub names & dates into a hat & head off to complete this task on the lucky pub & date. I would just have to hope that I didn't pick the middle of Amsterdam on a Saturday night!

However, I really think the true spirit of this task lies entirely on the very reckless nature of it. Like I said, spare of the moment.

The date in question was a Saturday night. Most of my friends will tell you that calling me a Chelsea fan is an understatement. As far as I was concerned the 19th May was Chelsea's date with destiny. My team, despite a season of disarray that included losing a manager & a run of results that had a lot to be desired, had made it to arguably the pinnacle of all club competitions. The Champions League final. Just One game lie between them & glory. 4 times winners Bayern Munich stood in the way of my boys & a first ever title.

Those who have half an eye on football will know the outcome, as Chelsea over came the Germans in a tense game that ended in a penalty shoot-out, but what they won't know is the shredded emotions I felt by the end of it all. I'm sure that many football fans will agree that on occasion when their team comes that close to ectasy or agony they question why they put themselves through it. This was One of those occasions when I know why I do.

When the final penalty when in & I knew we'd beaten them, I sank to my knees & burst into tears. All those years of hurt were gone. We'd finally done it!

I was in a pub in Amsterdam & I must admit that 6-7 beers does help to lubricate the emotions, but this was huge. I was on a high. Task number 65, it was now or never!

I had left the Amsterdam pub at this point, but on the way home, I stopped outside our local pub back in Hilversum & told my friend what I was going to do. "Are you insane?!". The pub was pretty busy & after checking that they took pin as there was no way I'd have enough cash, I asked the staff if I could get behind the bar & execute my plan. After thoroughly checking my card to make sure it was in good working order & I was absolutely serious, they let me behind the bar. I guess it's not every day that a guy steps into a pub & wants to buy everyone a drink.

I strode up, rang the bell to call for attention & made my announcement. This was going to hurt! Or was it?

I'd like to remind you at this point that every rule of engagement was followed. Packed pub, reason to celebrate & the will do exactly as the task required.

My friend was texting my girlfriend, who was elsewhere to warn her as the beer, wine & spirits kept flowing. I think they were bracing themselves harder than I was. & then it came. The bill.

Just 35 Euros! Everyone in the bar had a drink in their hand & it had cost me 35 Euros to complete task 65 on the list - WHAT A DODGED BULLET!

The infamous reciept.

A day at the races

The finishing straight (Image courtesy of www.grandnational.org)

In a bid to complete the 4 part "Go to the races" task, a group of us recently went to the UK's famous Grand National.


The National is held at Liverpool's Aintree race course every year & is arguably THE most well known horse race, with an estimated 500 - 600 million people watching it on TV Worldwide.


We decided to make a weekend of it. My girlfriend & myself met my sister & her partner in Liverpool & stayed for the weekend. We are all big Beatles fans, so as well as seeing the race, we heading to the famous Cavern club in the evening, where the Beatles used to play in the early days. The weekend was to be like no other though. A very memorable One to say the least.


I had decided that this was going to be the weekend that I did the honourable thing and finally propose to my girlfriend of 7 years. I had seen the ring I wanted all I had to do was get it & do the deed.


I had intended to do it in Rome, a month before, but my girlfriend fell ill a few days before we were due to go & so we didn't make it.


I had worried that the national might be a tacky place to do it, but Yvonne's friends & my family convinced me that what I had planned was just right.


The first task though was to get the ring. The shop was inside the departure lounge of the airport. I had to get it on the way over to the UK. Of course the problem with that was that Yvonne was with me. However, my cunning sister had a plan.


She rang my girlfriend telling her that she really, really needed a horse matching necklace & bracelet set from a specific shop in the airport, asking Yvonne to pick it up for her on the way through. This of course couldn't wait & she had to have it there & then. Suffice to say that no such necklace & bracelet set existed, but it gave me just enough time to pick up the ring & get it set before I met up with my unsuspecting future wife. It was touch & go though. I was sweating buckets as they went about their business, polishing the Diamond & carefully setting it into the band that I hoped would be the right size. My fingers were crossed that Yvonne wouldn't get bored & come looking for me. Thankfully, they managed it & got back to her at the end of her wild Goose chase.


However, unbeknown to all of us, as my sister was helping plan my engagement, her partner had been organising his own little proposal. On the way up to Aintree, my sister & Rory stopped off at Winsor & he popped the question himself. It was a huge coincidence as he'd apparently planned this for months.


The day itself went swimmingly, despite my nerves. After a hearty breakfast, the Four of us headed to the race course. The weather wasn't perfect, but the rain held off & my plan was executed.


I had explained what I'd wanted to do to my sister & her now fiance & they agreed they would help. I wanted to do make my move as the winner crossed the finish line.
We were right in front of the main Grand stand, in line with the finish, so as the horses came by & I pulled the ring out of my pocket, Sophie & Rory ensured that my girlfriend faced the action, whilst I got down on One knee behind, so that she couldn't see what I was up to. & then we did it. Thank god she said yes as the whole crowd around us gazed in bewilderment at what I'd just done!


The funny thing is that we thought all our horses had come in at Once, so to speak. We were in jubilant celebration as we thought our horse had just won the National too. It turns out that the commentator had  got the wrong horse though ours had actually fallen a couple of hurdles before! This didn't dampen our spirits though. To coin a phrase that others have used since hearing our good news, I still picked a winner.


A wonderful weekend & One we'll never forget. Now I just need to convince her to get married somewhere unusually & I can fill in task number 88!

Completed: Sell your junk on ebay & make a profit

Task number: 84.

Sell all your junk on ebay & make a profit.

Date: 29th March 2012.

Location: Hilversum, Netherlands.

Attendees: NA

A difficult task, given that there wasn't that much to sell in the end. You'd think that moving house, I'd have all sorts of stuff to get rid of.

I put a number of items up for sale, but only One sold.

Funnily enough it was a book by a man who is probably most recently famous for his ridiculous antics on film involving something very similar to the Bloody book.

Karl Pilkington's latest series "An idiot abroad Two" follows him trying various peoples ideas of life experiences from a bucket list. I won't give too much away because if you haven't seen it yet, I strongly advise that you do, but the basic point of the show is for Karl to experience the ultimate bucket list. This is a list compiled by the shows other Two stars Ricky Gervais & Stephan Merchant & based on most peoples dream to do before they die. He can select any activity from the list, but Ricky & Stephan ensure that each One is as entertaining as possible by dropping in a few unexpected surprises. Pilkington is a self confessed creature of comfort & clearly hates doing any of the tasks, which makes it all the more funny.

You get to know Karl & his "unique" personality through this & the previous series & this book is a clear reflection, full of anecdotes &  & observations of his childhood & early life.

A rather mundane task in the end, it must be said, but completed, none the less. I got this as a Christmas present, so the 3.25 pounds I sold it for still means a profit!

Completed: Make at least One huge purchase you can't afford

Task number: 54.

Make at least One huge purchase you can't afford.

Date: 2nd April 2012.

Location: Hilversum, Netherlands.

Attendees: Yvonne Weatherlake.


After 5 years in Holland, my girlfriend & I finally decided to take the plunge & buy a house here.

It can take people years to find the perfect house, but it seems we were lucky.
Our year long quest finally ended in April of this year when we moved into our Two bedroom maisonette, in Hilversum.

Just a stones throw from the high street, we ended being neighbours with the first friends, we met when we moved to the country all those years ago.

Now all I have to do is start replacing some of the "quirky" elements that the previous owner had seen fit to pass as style. Such as metal clad flooring in the kitchen, striped paint in the bedrooms & painted wood across the whole of the Second floor. Wish me luck!

ebay

The moving of a house & the inevitable throwing away of old junk. Task number 84 is sell your old junk on ebay & make a profit. As I have said, believe it or not I have never done this before. I think that just about everyone else on the planet has flogged some bit of old tat on the 21st Century's version of a bootsale, but not me. I think I must be the gulable sap buying all of this unwanted junk!

Still, the aim of this task is exactly as it sounds. Sell something on ebay. I have put 4 items on here to start with & we'll see how it goes. I haven't finished the house clearance yet, so who knows there may be other little gems to emerge over the next few days.

I need to sell One item to complete this task & all proceeds will go to this years BBC Sport relief, so please dig deep & help me & a very worthy cause out.

I think it's only apt that One of the books I'm trying to get rid of is One of Richards other books. 101 things you need to know.

Let the bidding commence!

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/200733875145?ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1555.l2649

2012

The plans for 2012 are unveiled. As promised a few weeks ago, here is the list of  proposed tasks to be attempted this year & the way I plan to complete them:

1. Study the Karma Sutra & put theory into practice - I think we all know the way I to attempt this. I will say that there is still One position that has eluded me so far!

2. Make fire without matches - There are a number of ways you can attempt this. Flint & steel, even with batteries. Believe it or not the book even gives you instructions on how to wire them up. I prefer to attempt it the old fashion way though. 

Despite my girlfriends insistence that buying me the book in the first place was a stupid thing to do, she still continues to indulge me. For Christmas, she bought me a rather large magnifying glass. As soon as the weather gets hotter, I will be up the woods, with a pile of dry leaves & the patience to wait for the spark that will mean the completion of task number 37.

3. Make at least One purchase that you can't afford - I'm sure Richard Horne meant this as One of those tongue in cheek tasks I mentioned before. It is in the Recklessness section after all! However, I have found a little loop hole here. On 2nd April, I hope to pick up the keys to my new home. A lovely Two bedroom place, in Holland. The responsibility of a mortgage, life insurance & the obligation to sit on the residents association Once a month has to be worth a star in the Bloody book.

4. See the all-time greatest films - I'm over half way through this. Some good, some bad, some just plain ugly, but by December I should even hours of video tape to be able to say that I've seen the best.

5. Get a tattoo &/or piercing - I will be keeping this One a secret. Rest assured though, as soon as it is done, I will be revealing it on here.

6. See all your junk on ebay & make a profit - Believe it or not, I have never done this before. I'm sure I must be in a minority. I have bought plenty of items, but never sold them. With a house move immanent, I should be able to find something.

7. Throw away the instant noodles - This involves cooking a One course meal every night for One week, finishing with a Three course for friends with a dinner party.

8. Save someones life - This is easier than you think. I have taken a first aid course, but I guess this is One task, you hope you never have to complete the conventional way. However, I have found another loop hole. Give blood. 

Giving blood at your local hospital's blood bank ensures that supplies are kept replenished for when it's really needed. I strongly recommend this to anyone who can. You really will save a life.

9. Stage dive or crowd surf - I have One chance of this. It will have to be meticulously planned however. This kind of thing is virtually outlawed at at a lot of gigs these days. I won't be able to get up on stage, but a good friend & myself have come up with an idea. In June, I will be heading to the Isle of Wight music festival. Of course, I cannot reveal exactly how & when it will be accomplished, but be sure to keep an eye out.

Also, as part of the Go to the dogs task, I will be off to the UK's Grand National next month. Just Pigeon & Camel racing to go until this is done!

I have 9 months to cross off the 9 tasks. I've tried to keep it realistic & some may argue that it is not as daring as last year, but none the less it will still be difficult to finish some of them & who knows, there may be a few unexpected Ones on the way.

Here's to 2012!

Shocked

I'm staggered at how much positive feedback & interest there has been in my daft antics over the last month, since my Blog launched.

As explained in the introduction, I had originally set this up to relay my experiences to anyone that knows me,  but it seems that for some bizaare reason far more people seem to be interested in the real idiot abroad that it was first thought!

I'm pleased to confirm an endorsement from the books author himself, Mr Richard Horne, as well as hits from all over the world.

A huge thank you to everyone who has visited my page over the last few weeks. Rest assured, now that I can see that people are interested in reading about the developments in my stupid project, there will be regular updates.

In the coming weeks I will be unveiling the list of planned events for 2012 & how I plan accomplish them, as well as a few interesting additions, anecdotes & thoughts relating to the stupid list.

What started out as another of those stupid boys projects is fast developing.

Stay tuned.......

Completed: Leave a job you hate

Image courtesy of Green farms.co.uk

Task number: 59.

Leave a job you hate.

Date: Summer 1996.

Location: Brookland, Kent, UK.

Attendees: About 10 other poor saps that were trying to make some money over the Summer holidays!

The One & only job I think I’ve ever left. I’ve always been pretty good with holding down jobs over the years. Even part-time Ones to help me get through college & University, but this was different.

We’ve all been there. Pot washing in kitchens, retail shop assistant, waiter, barman. I even had a spell, washing & sweeping up hair in a hair dressers. This was grim, but it couldn’t compare to the worst job I’ve ever had.

I was 14 & this was another One of those part-time gap fillers to bring in a little extra cash over the summer holidays. I grew up in the country, so agriculture was all around us & my step-dad worked at a local farm about 3 miles down the road from where we lived.

After he came home One day & said that there was some summer work going down the farm, I jumped at the chance. I had no idea what a potato grader was at the time, but it sounded like the perfect job.

All I had to do was stand at a conveyer belt & grade Potatoes. This basically meant sorting big from small, quality from rotten & Red from White. What could be simpler, I asked myself. The grader was also a mobile unit, so it meant that we would be working outside in the middle of the British summer – Perfect!

My step-dad warned me that this job is not as easy as you might think. Not because it was terribly difficult. In fact it was the complete opposite. It is the most mind numbing job you can possibly do.I remember my step-dads words before I went in for my first day “I’ll be surprised if you get through a week!”. I took this as a challenge & being a strong willed person, I was determined to way surpass this. After all, it was money in my pocket.

I knew I was going to struggle mid way through the first day. Potato after potato went past & although it is easy to offset the boredom by letting your mind drift, the sad realization that this is as good as it is going to get for the rest of the day is hard work. I started clock watching about 11 o’clock. 3 hours into the job it was not a good sign. But I’ll get through it I thought. It will be lunch-time soon. We broke for lunch at around 12.30. I think that was the longest hour & half I have ever experienced.

It was a scorching hot day, which didn’t help & by the time I had finished my shift I was exuasted. I had to get up & do this all again tomorrow. I wouldn’t have minded so much if the pay was alright, but to top it off I was working for what I think amounted to about 13 Pounds a day at the time. Jobs on the farm are rarely well paid, but I was going to stick this out. I had nothing else in the pipeline to make money & I was sure it couldn’t get any worse.

It did! The job stayed the same, but my mind didn’t. It was slowly beginning to break in the worst possible way. I don’t know if you can get repetitive strain disorder of the mind, but this was where I felt I was going. All I’d seen the night before was Potatoes & I could swear that clock was now going backwards.

The farmer would come round every so often to check that everything was going o.k. & being the new kid on the block, I was scrupulously watched. I had to ensure that my pace was consistent & that I didn’t miss anything when he was around. His money was on the line here & there was no way he was going to let me throw away anything that was potential profit. Switching from a daydream to total concentration is difficult believe me.

I got home on the second night feeling absolutely destroyed. My body was drained, as I’d been stood on my feet all day, but the thing that was most suffering was my mind. It felt like it had literally turned to mush. I couldn’t do it. I physically couldn’t do it. I couldn’t go back there, where I was sure it would take just another 24 hours to finally break me.

I’m sure many of you will be reading this thinking it can’t be that bad. One of my favourite topics of conversation throughout adulthood has been peoples worst jobs & I have heard some horror stories. I remember reading a book Once that was title “Britain’s worst jobs”. I think number One was Seaman tester. I don’t think my experience was that bad, but I defy anybody to tell me that this is not up there.

The worst job I have ever had came to an end when I finally picked up the phone to the boss & told him I wouldn’t be coming in the next day. I didn’t tell him why, but I think he knew when he said “No problem, it’s not for everyone”.

Completed: Live out of a van

Task number: 97.

Live out of a van.

Date: 7^th September – 28^th September 2011.

Location: New Zealand.

Attendees: Yvonne Weatherlake, Rae Peters, Andy Lopez, Jack Lopez.

Some of you may dispute this, but my response is that technically I did live out of a van & it was for a decent period of time. Trust me, it was long enough & as close as I want to get to being a hippie!

2011 meant the Rugby World Cup was back in New Zealand for the first time since its inauguration in 1987. My girlfriend, myself & a couple of friends are big Rugby fans & with One of our friends being Kiwi, we’d vowed years ago to go & stay with her family.

The reason I’m so adamant that this was technically living out of a van is because ewe did exactly that. We were there for 3 weeks & toured around the north of New Zealand in a camper van owned by our friend’s sister. An amazing experience that allowed us to experience some awe-inspiring sights, as well as watch the Rugby, of course.

We went as far north as the north islands, visiting the very first western settlement & the oldest pub in New Zealand. Russell was originally a Whaling station, with nothing else, but a pub, a place to repair your ship & some prostitutes!

After stops in Rotarua & Waitomoe, the southern most tip of our journey was lake Taupo. Originally a glacier, it is now a huge basin of fresh water that resembles more of a sea than a lake.

An amazing time had by all & an experience I will never forget.

Completed: Get something named after you

Image courtesy of Wikipedia

Task number: 94.

Get something named after you.

Date: 24^th December 2011.

Location: East Guldeford, East Sussex, UK.

Attendees: Yvonne Weatherlake, Belita Pilcher, Allan Pilcher.

I’d love to say that I’ve achieved so much in my life that someone saw fit to name something of historical significance after me, like a building or even a park bench, but no. This was purely as a result of this book.

It was a Christmas present I’d requested & it didn’t even turn out to be that in the end! I knew it was a task in the book to get something named after you & after finding out that you could actually name a star; I sent the link to my girlfriend. She duly ordered it & waited to give it to me as a Christmas present. Unfortunately, after ordering a lot of presents myself, I assumed it was addressed to me & opened it not realizing.

Still, I got it, she named it & I’m pleased to say that it is ticked off the list. The star was named SMP280881. My initials & the date I was born. Not very original, I know, but I think it sounds scientific.

Completed: Run a marathon

My proud mother & me both supporting RP Fighting Blindness
www.rpfightingblindness.org.uk

Task number: 86.

Run a marathon.

Date: 14^th April 2011.

Location: London, UK.

Attendees: Yvonne Weatherlake, Joe Berry, Aimmie Scorer, Rae Peters, Andy Lopez, Jack Lopez, Sophie Pilcher, Rory Creavin, Belita Pilcher.

I’d advise anyone to try this, but remember it takes a huge amount of commitment, determination & time. & That is just the fundraising!

I had always wanted to run the marathon, ever since I was a little kid & had applied 4 times, but not been successful. When you apply to take part in the race, you are entered into a ballot. If your name is lucky enough to be called, you are in. But after the 4^th rejection in a row, I decided to take another option. I decided to run for a charity. If you run for a Charity, you are given a so-called “Golden ticket”. This means that you don’t have to go through the ballot procedure & are entered straight into the race. However, there is a catch.

In return for your Golden ticket you must raise a certain amount for the charity. This varies from One to another, but mine, RP Fighting Blindness wanted a minimum of 2,225 Pounds. The training began in earnest, but the fundraising would take a little more planning. As well as setting up a website, begging friends & family, I organized a series of events aimed at pulling in the cash I needed. The first was a video games night, based at a friend’s house, near Amsterdam. We charged 20 Euros entry & Two Euros per game. It was a tournament style format, with points for 1^st, 2^nd & 3^rd in each game. This meant the more games you entered, the more chance you stood of winning the “coveted” Video games night trophy. It was a great success & we raised 250 Euros. We even got in my local paper, back in the UK!

The Second was a bring & buy sale that I had at work. I asked everyone to bring in anything they wanted to donate, from CD’s & DVD’s to clothes & we sold it in the sale. Another fantastic result & we raised about 400 Euros.

As well as running a book on what people thought my finishing time would be, I saved the best until last. Nike kindly donated some signed football shirts & equipment for an auction & raffle in which we raised 900 Euros.

As well as this, Nike ran a scheme, which meant that as I was an employee, whatever money was donated by other employees, via the Nike Just Giving website they would match.

I was also lucky that I was able to be flexible with my job & train in the day whenever we were quiet work. It started with just a couple of short runs, on the treadmill, but after Christmas it got serious.
Again, I was lucky enough to be in Australia during the holidays, so it meant that my first half marathon was in a lovely warm climate. But, that couldn’t last. Let me tell you running 25 kilometres in minus temperatures is not fun. The following January I had to head out with snow on the ground. 3 weeks before the Marathon I had reached my peak distance. I ran 30k & after that it was short runs for a week before virtually nothing the week before. For those of you who don’t run & are thinking surely not doing any training in the weeks leading up to a challenge is strange, you’ll be interested to hear that this is how the professionals do it & the advise doctors give to all first time runners. Your body needs time recover.

My girlfriend & I went over to London the Friday before the Marathon & stayed with friends to make a weekend of it. I had been detoxing Two weeks before, with no alcohol & plenty of water. Trust me, meeting up with friends & resisting the temptation to have a few drinks when you haven’t seen them in a while is harder than you think, but I got through it, picked up my number on the Saturday & headed to the start point at Greenwich park for 10 o’clock on the Sunday morning. My girlfriend & my friend Joe came down with me & helped to find where I needed to be & get prepared with the Vaseline & Energy drinks. The thing that stuck in my mind though was the absolute deluge of Bananas that littered the streets. It just shows you that there can be all the modern equipment & nutrient suppliments you can possibly imagine, but there is still a place for mother nature’s bounty.

Again, people often ask me, what it was like. I say it’s hard to say. I had looked forward to a lifetime experience, taking in all the sights & taking in the atmosphere, but it is hard to when you have to concentrate so hard on what you need to do. It was a beautiful sunny day. Slightly too warm for running, but fantastic for spectating. I had so much support from the people on the sidelines, offering me drinks & pushing me on, but taking in the sights is the last thing on your mind. My favourite memory though is running down the mall, after turning past Buckingham Palace & feeling the tremendous sense of achievement when I crossed that finishing line. I had just run 26.2 miles! Family & friends were waiting for me in Green Park & I met up with them a short while later. We had a glass of Champagne & it was a pretty special moment.

It took me 4 hours & 18 minutes & I ended up raising over 5,000 Euros. I have a lot of people to thank for this though. My long suffering girlfriend Yvonne, my mum, who raised so much money from kind donations from her friends & family, Nike & my close friends, who I really depended on for support & the generous donations that I fleeced them of in One way or another!

Completed: Spend Christmas on the beach

Task number: 80.

Spend Christmas on the beach.

Date: December 2008 – January 2009.

Location: Bon Beach, Melbourne, Australia.

Attendees: Yvonne Weatherlake, Steph Weatherlake, Victoria Weatherlake, Mark Littler.

I’ll admit I was very nervous of this when it was first proposed. Still, my girlfriends sister & partner had moved to Australia the previous year & we had made an agreement shortly after we started to get serious that rather than try & frantically dart between families every Christmas, we would alternate in years & this year it was her family’s turn.

I was a big fan of Christmas for all sorts of reasons, but mainly tradition. It might be a strange logic, but Christmas with sunshine for me just couldn’t work. It’s just not right if it’s not blowing a gale or pouring down with rain. I was going to miss all sorts of things. The Christmas TV, the decorations, but most of all, I guess, my family.  I had a rather sad feeling as I saw all the Christmas trees going up & everybody dressing up warm, getting ready for the Winter festivities, when I would be spending Christmas day in 30 degree heat. How wrong I would be!

I imagine that it might be different in other cultures, such as Asia where it’s not really tradition to celebration a rather western idea, but the holidays in Australia are truly ace & I would advise everyone thinking about going to oz to think about it.

When I try to describe it I always use the phrase “It’s exactly the same as being at home, except you can leave the back door open. Simply because traditions, celebrations, everything is the same except the weather. That is One thing I don’t miss. The fabled perception of Britain’s Christmas wonderland for anyone outside the UK is simply not true. Most of the time, British weather at Christmas is grim & mainly consists of drizzly rain & cold wind. The fact that I kept seeing models of Father Christmas when I was in my shorts & t-shirt soon faded away.

We started Christmas day with exactly the same traditions we start every Christmas day. The rummaging of stockings, the glass of Bucks-fizz & opening of presents. I hasten to say that Christmas morning is the ONLY time of the year that you have Two things before you even got dressed, by the way & that is Chocolate & Alcohol. Lunch was slightly different. BBQ Chicken & salad, but then I’m not a big fan of the grand Christmas lunch anyway & it was nice to have something different, meaning the ditching of the annual Sprout tasting. Another “tradition” that everybody seems to indulge in at this time of year for absolutely no reason than “It’s Christmas!” apparently. The next bit is the best bit. I like my sleep, but the other favourite British past time at Christmas of eating too much & passing out in front of the telly for the rest of the afternoon is something I’ve never been able to get into. Although the alternative of “The tray game” or Charades still makes sleeping seem energetic in my book. In Australia, the best way to spend Christmas afternoon is to head up the beach. Whether it’s flying the kite you got as a present that morning, playing a spot of Cricket or Football on the sand or just sitting back & taking in the day is so much more than cooped up in doors. Boxing day is all about the test. The Aussies love their Cricket & Boxing day is fantastic just to sit down with a few “Tinnies", in the sunshine & take in the atmosphere.

I’ve been lucky enough to do it again since & it was just as special. I’d gladly do it again & I’d recommend it to anyone thinking of trying something different. You’ll love it.

Completed: Drink a vintage wine

Task number: 78.

Drink a vintage wine.

Date :1^st April 2011.

Location: The Vintage wine bar, Hilversum, Netherlands.

Attendees: Yvonne Weatherlake.

I’m going to say this before it sounds like I’m showing off. A lot of people think a vintage wine has to be either old or expensive or both. This is not the case. The phrase vintage simply means that it was a good year for that grape. The conditions were considered just right to create the best possible taste. This can be anything from a dry arid summer to a frost ridden winter.

I have tried quite a few vintage wines in my time & I wouldn’t consider One better than the other, just because it was vintage, but I’ve never kept a record. After all, it’s wet isn’t it? So, after this task first presented itself I knew I’d had quite a few of these already & I knew I would have quite a few more before I finally kept the label & placed that achieved star in the book.

One Saturday afternoon, last summer my girlfriend & I were at a loose end, so we decided to venture down to a newly opened wine just around the corner from where we live. Pretty much the only thing they sold was vintage wine, so something told me that this time I might strike it lucky with this task.

I choose an Austrian Red. It was only a few years old, but it was still vintage & none the les very tasty. I’d love to describe the aromatic & delicate flavours of tobacco & Chocolate, but I’d feel like a ponce & you wouldn’t appreciate it anyway!

Completed: Take part in a Police lineup

Task number: 60.

The Usual Suspects (1995)

Take part in a Police lineup.

Date: 1^st April 1997.

Location: Hastings Police station, Hastings, East Sussex, UK.

Attendees: The suspect & 8 other young students desperate for a quick buck!

One of the stranger tasks in this book, although it is with a wry smile that I can say that I actually did take part in this more than Once, many moons ago.

Whenever it comes up in conversation, people ask how did you end up doing that. Well, the answer is purely by chance. I was at college at the time, sitting with my friends in the canteen, when a Policeman approached me. Before he even opened his mouth, I started to wrack my brains. What had I done in the 6 months? I’d never been in trouble with the law before, but I think it probably is the first reaction of any 16-year-old boy in Hastings when a copper is stood in front of them. “How tall are you?” He asked. I stood up. “Age?”.  Where was this going? He surely wasn’t going to bang me up for being average height? “Would you mind taking part in a Police identity parade?” he said, his hands clearly in close proximity to his truncheon, on the off chance I might say no. Of course I said yes & it ended up becoming a regular source of income for me. Every couple of weeks I would pop up to the cop shop after college & stand in front of a mirror, whilst a witness would scour through on the other side.

I know what you’re thinking, so I’ll answer the questions that everyone asks me when I explain the story of “how I ended up doing that”. Yes, you wear your regular clothes. No, you don’t hold a board with a number on it up in front of you. Yes, you get top see the suspect. No, you don’t get to find out whether the witness identified the suspect or not, so no, I don’t know if they picked me out.

Completed: Score the winning goal/try/basket

Image courtesy of Rye United football club

Task number: 55.

Score the winning goal/try/basket.

1^st April 1992.

Location: The Salts recreation ground, East Sussex, UK.

Attendees: My dad & the rest of the Rye United under 11’s football team.

Another football story, I’m afraid. It was the end of another season. We had had another of our usual campaigns.  Starting with much promise, dreaming of that first ever title win, drifting around mid table obscurity after 5 or 6 games & staying there for most of the season. The end of this One however, was slightly different. Suddenly a game from the end of it, we found ourselves sitting 5^th, 2 points from 4^th & the holy grail of the playoffs.

We had to play the team sitting above us. A win would send us through. Now, I have to say it wasn’t exactly a tense game, as we ended up winning 4-1, but I’d like to think the goal I scored was crucial.

We were 3-1 up. We’d played well all game, but from the 70^th minute, we’d been under the most intense pressure you can imagine. The other team had hit the post the crossbar & the other post at least twice. We’d barely had got out of our half for the last 20 minutes.

Then the moment came. I was playing right back. I shouldn’t have been in the position I was in, but our whole team were back defending for their lives & I just happened to be a metre a head of the rest & a yard quicker than everybody else.

The ball was cleared to the Left & I ran on the opposite flank to with the guy with the ball. He crossed the ball in the 18 yard box & I volleyed it into the top corner.

As I said, it may not have been the spectacular strike in the last minute that nailed an outstanding performance, but it did kill the game & we went through. I have scored & in fact saved goals that have won games, but this is the One I will never forget. I will never forget the feeling at the end of that game, which is what, I think this list is all about. Life experiences.